My husband and I are newlyweds and share an apartment with another couple because we ran into financial difficulties, and this was our only option. The problem is the other couple has two dogs they expect us to take care of while they’re at work.
My husband and I get home two hours earlier than they do in the evening, and they have become accustomed to our generosity in occasionally taking the dogs out and walking them. They now expect us to do it every day, and get angry and nasty if we don’t. Please help.
In The Doghouse In Georgia
You and your roommates appear to have a communication problem. Speak up. Tell them you dislike their palming off the responsibility for walking their animals and you won’t be doing it anymore. Then remind them that while you were willing to do an occasional favor, you do not appreciate their attitude of entitlement. You are not their built-in dog walkers. You only have to occupy the “doghouse” if you allow yourself to be put in one.
I have never told anyone about this. I was molested by my pastor when I was 8, and again when I was 14. I see a doctor because of depression and PTSD. My doctor doesn’t know, and I don’t want my family to know. I don’t even know if the pastor is still alive. Should I tell my doctor or just let it go? I have heard about priests doing this, but I was going to a Pentecostal church.
Male Reader In Kentucky
It is very important for your mental health that you tell your doctor everything you have disclosed to me, because what happened to you is likely the cause of your depression and PTSD. Do this, not only for yourself, but also because it may help other young people who belong to that church and who also may have been molested by that predator.
My best friend is retired and alone, as am I. She recently moved next door so we can help each other if needed.
Since COVID, we feel safe seeing each other because we never go out in public places and all our shopping is done with delivery or curbside pickup. She doesn’t like to cook, but I love to, so most evenings she’s invited to dinner. She comes over about four times a week and usually takes home the leftovers for the other nights.
What bothers me is I usually eat dinner at the same time, and I remind her of it each time I invite her, yet she’s invariably late. At first it was just a minute or two, but it’s getting later and later. Tonight I waited 20 minutes for her.
I time my dishes to the minute, and I like my food hot and not overcooked. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I’m becoming increasingly irritated. Any suggestions on how I can get the message across without jeopardizing our friendship?
Fresh Meals In The Midwest
Your friend may be disorganized or just plain thoughtless. The next time you invite her, tell her that because you like your dinner hot — and not overcooked — you will start eating at the appointed time and no longer continue to wait for her. You don’t have to be mean about it, just firm, and then follow through.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.