Thoughts of childhood are sweet memories

I hated childhood. Every day I wake up and thank my lucky stars that I'm not a child any more. I take great joy from just that fact, irrespective of anything else about it. I'm grown now and I know what's going on and I can determine my fate. Yay, rise and shine, good morning sun! Sure, I got to lick beaters too, but it just did a little to take the sting off the fact that I was a shy, unpopular bed wetter and my father came home drunk every night and raged about his business competitors. I dutifully and joylessly licked them clean. Good riddance to bad times. Also, I have an idea: somebody could market beaters as a packaged treat you buy at the store. They could be manufactured in China and of course the beaters themselves would be made out of disposable plastic. Some kind of chemical additive would be needed to keep the dough from drying out, but I'm sure the FDA could be "encouraged" to look the other way. The best thing we can do for children is to focus on what kind of adult they will grow up to be. Childhood is a means, not an end, and making it an ideal time infantilizes us. Not to be a bummer.